Montreal Punk Shows

There’s a lot of things I miss about Montreal, aside from the fact that it’s the only “foreign” country I’ve lived, but last night I had complete deja vu and an uncontrollable feeling of nostalgia while seeing Murder By Death at The Grog Shop – Cleveland’s answer to CBGB’s (except Grog still exists, while the former resting place of CB’s is now some fucking trendy designer clothing store – Denis Leary told me that!)

I have an odd connection with MBD – they seem to almost always show up on tour in whatever city I move to, and almost always right after I move in (within a few weeks/months anyway). I should tell them how much it’s appreciated; it helps settling in, like visiting friends or family members.

But I digress – it was somewhere in the mid 20’s temperature-wise in downtown Cleveland last night, with specks of snow and black ice littered on street corners – typical weather for this time of year in Canada at least. Upon entering the venue I am immegdiately surrounded by hipster-punks with PBR tall boys (I order myself one right away) as I try to see through half-fogged up glasses. This is when it hits me…I fucking miss Montreal Punk Shows.

I’ve been to shows of all types, from New Orleans to Philly, basement punk rock concerts in New Brunswick, NJ, dank clubs in the ghettos of Brooklyn and the over-privileged halls of Burlington, VT. There’s something about a Montreal show you just can’t find anywhere else. ESPECIALLY when you go to one in the dead of winter. Your anticipation grows the closer you get to doors – partially because you want to get a good spot in front of the stage, but also your toes are going numb through a pair of ripped Chuck Taylor high tops in the arctic February weather. You go in, directly to find coat check…no matter how big or small the venues I’ve been to in MTL there’s almost always a coat check, which seems odd to me but useful. If you wear glasses, you can’t see for a good two minutes because it’s so god damn stuffy in these clubs that you fog up like two teenagers are making out in your eyes.

And of course, one thing I have yet to experience anywhere other than Montreal – those disgustingly soaking wet mats they put by the door, soggy and muddy, slushing water all over the place. I think that’s what I felt was missing last night, to give it that true punk rock club in winter feeling – gross wet mats at the entrance. And maybe I missed the pride too – the Montreal Punk kids fucking throw down, get pumped up and thrash to their music better than any other fans I’ve seen in this part of the world. But there’s respect too, for your fellow brothers and sisters at the show…again, maybe that’s just something we don’t get in America, because we’re not typically polite. So for you kids going to Fouf’s of Cafe Chaos this weekend, look out for yourselves and your brethren – but most important of all cherish what you have there, because you can’t find it anywhere else.

Solving the Epic Mac Vs. PC Debate – with Cats

Between the users who love their Mac and the others who swear by their PC’s, the war between both platforms has been raging since the days of early Compaq and Macintosh 128K. Finally, like the battle between two giants, the mystery has been solved…thanks to cats.

Yes, cats have determined that Mac is superior to PC. But not in the way you would imagine. Obviously, these lolcats did not test the processing time, the storage space, graphics cards or wireless. They used their sheer cat food filled bellies to test the strength of a 4 year old MacBook and a 1 year old Dell laptop. Both these computers are in my household, but I am using photos taken off Google Image Search – because I couldn’t photograph the kitties during the act.

Much like the kitty in this photo above, my very large, very overweight Louis Anderson-ish cat likes to sit on the warm, white MacBook I own. As he sits down it creaks and crackles like an old man trying to take a solid shit. Once, he even slipped over the smooth surface and fell on it.

Recently, my fat cat also took a nap on the Dell laptop work gave me (I tried talking them into a MacBook Pro, but since all I do is write and hardly have a use for even PhotoShop Elements it didn’t sink in) and much like this cute kitten, he enjoyed his nap…well…I guess cats enjoy any nap as long as they are sleeping.

As a result, the MacBook still works as if it were just delivered to my home. The screen isn’t cracked, dim or distorted.

My Dell, much like the one pictured, has a sort of crunchie bend and discoloration to the monitor now. Of course, I can just ship it back to work and they’ll replace it, but it certainly sheds new light on the topic of whether Mac or PC is the better bang for your buck.

Transporter 3 Trailer

Back after a long unforeseen break. It’s been a while for me, life is as uncertain as…well…life I suppose. And to celebrate my return to the blogosphere (that is to say, my unpaid return to blogging, which is unrelated to my other, maintained for work blogs) sit back and enjoy the official trailer for Jason Statham’s Transporter 3 – in thearter November 26th! Gotta love the cheesiness.

Smells Like Cat Pee & I Don’t Care

You know what the down side is to living with two big cats? The downside is that eventually they pee and shit all over their litter box. And if you don’t change their litter fast enough (to their liking) they start to pee in various spots on your carpeting. First, they’ll do it while you are out or asleep – but eventually they will do it right in front of you, looking directly into your eyes, because they just don’t care.

So your house starts to smell like cat pee more often – so much so that you tend to just not care after a while. And you occasionally step in cat pee, which is also disgusting at first. Then it becomes an annoyance – followed by (you guessed it) not caring anymore. Eventually, the bottoms of your socks smell lightly of cat pee, but you don’t care about that after a while either. And then, again after some time and because of the sock issue, the insides of all your shoes also begin to smell like cat pee. At one point, you walk around constatnly smelling cat pee eminating from your feet – but after a while you just don’t care.

Opie & Anthony Will Return to XM and Sirius!

The Opie & Anthony Show just re-signed a new deal with XM and new parent company serious to remain on XM 202, and also be added to the line up of Sirius Ch. 197. Good news for fans of the show, since both Opie, Anthony and the always hilarious Jimmy Norton had hinted and teased for weeks about the prospects of not returning to satillite radio. No official word about the Budays, Ron & Fez, who are on XM Noon til Three after O&A – however rumor has it they will also survive the merger.

Senseless Hotness – Megan Fox

She’s the star of Transformers, Transformers 2 and…well…I really have no idea what else she’s been in. And frankly, who really gives a damn? Sure, the press has had a field day with her “teenage lesbian love affair” with a stripper. As if bisexual teen girl strippers making out is something new – enough with my babbling – enjoy the show!

The Old Bag at the Deli

When I was young and felt as though I could rule the world, I remember telling one of my New Jersey deli coworkers my goal in life was to have a collection of license plates on my car(s) from every state on this continent (excluding Alaska and Hawaii). She thought I was crazy, just a dumb kid with no idea how the real world operated.

The license plates were a symbol, since I haven’t had a vehicle in three years, for my extreme urge to travel and see as much of the world (or at least North America) as possible before I die. Well, you old bag who complained endlessly each day in that deli, in the past couple of years I’ve lived in and between Montreal, Philadelphia, Vermont and the greater Cleveland area. And I am just getting started. You, on the other hand, are still behind that deli counter. What do you have to say to that?

The Large Hadron Collider/Atom Smasher Will Kill Us All!

This week in Switzerland scientists (some in pajamas) waited into the wee hours of the morning to start up their latest experiment – something out of a bad scifi movie actually. They wanted to try and figure out exactly how our universe came into existance. Tto do that they needed to create a device which would simulate the Big Bang – thus creating small momentary black holes right here on Earth! That’s right – man made black holes…we’re fucked.

The Large Hadron Collider is the most advance piece of scientific machinery ever built, and literally smashes up atoms in order to recreate mini-big bangs – and it has sparked quite a lot of controversey. Some scientists are all worked up over the fact that other fellow researchers and futurists (like Dr. Kaku, who has been an avide spokesperson for these experiments, and is also a fan of Opie and Anthony, apparently) are all for starting up such a device – stating their fears that this machine will bring about the end of the world – possibly the universe! Scientists working on the project have received death threats, while concerned online communities, such as “has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet” will keep us all up on whether or not we’re still alive.

Even the Hadron Collider’s project leader Lyn Evans was quotd as saying “Things can go wrong at any time” – well I don’t know about you folks, but that sounds reassuring to me! Personally, I think crazy mad scientist experiemtns like this are fantastic. Think about it – discovering how the entire universe came into existance, figuring out the secrets of black holes – truly astonishing! So what if the galaxy is sucked out of existance during this process – I say if we go out, we might as well go out with a bang!

Final note: “Hadron Collider” – way too close to “Hard on” …Hard on Collider. Hmm…

Willard Scott is becoming Hunter S. Thompson

Clicking through the Today Show this morning we caught Willard Scott doing his 100 Year Old peoples bit – and noticed him mumbling lightly into the camera when they first cut to him, ala Hunter S. Thompson. Not only that, but he is also starting to look like Hunter in his later years. Unfortunately, Willard is still around doing the same old shtick, where Hunter has been gone for some time, and we are all the worse for it.

Charisma Carpenter was in Playboy and NO ONE Told Me!?!? [NSFW]

I don’t mean to objectify here, but as some of you are aware I enjoy nudity & erotica – what self respecting feminist doesn’t? (Ok, as a male, I am not labeling myself a feminist, but those who I know have known for the past few years have accused me of such, so if the shoe fits…)

But, for Pete’s sake, I just found out Charisma Carpenter (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer) did a 10-page nude layout in June 2004 for Playboy. IT’S SEPTEMBER 2008 and I am just discovering this NOW?! I feel let down! But I am getting over it pretty quick, and to help you get over it I’ve included a few of those uncensored Playboy photos for your viewing pleasure. Not Safe For Work kids, so be careful before you scroll down.